Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
