why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
