i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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