I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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