your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
now i know why i became what i already was.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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