one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
