Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
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