My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
