At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
