You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
