My first STD was from a foam party
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
