ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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