I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
