And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
