I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
