Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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