my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
