Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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