guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize