you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
