He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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