THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
im on a boat
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