Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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