Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
