don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
