remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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