What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
