Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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