If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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