Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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