ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
