I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
