she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize