My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my being single is dangerous.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
