If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
After tacos, we're chasing women.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
