Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
