if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize