We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize