You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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