omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Who died my cat blue again?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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