He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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