Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
