The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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