My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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