Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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