Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
