If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
