i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
When are your genitals available?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
