She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
