where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
