I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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