OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
