it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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