Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
