I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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