honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
