I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
