I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
