Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
