i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
