Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Fuck appropriateness.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
