Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
