She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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