Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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