Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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