I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
