he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
