they need to just BURY HIM!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
