I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
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