do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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