she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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