You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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