also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
