today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
3pm strippers are depressing
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
