Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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