I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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