Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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