My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
